This weekend was just as difficult as I expected it to be. Today is Adler's due date and instead of tears of joy for the arrival of our beautiful baby boy....there was weeping at his graveside yesterday. As I sat there staring at the wilted flowers from October 20th on Adler's burial plot, my hopes and dreams for this little life were hushed by the sound of the wind in the trees. As I sat there sobbing over of all that COULD have been....I couldn't help but think of this one simple truth. Can you imagine willingly giving up your son for the benefit of others? Can you fathom coming up with that VERY idea....to sacrifice your son? I can't. I'm still struggling with giving my only son up to my Heavenly Father in a place that is full of absolute beauty. I know how silly that sounds, but the honesty of it is this....I would selfishly LOVE to have him here. To squeeze him, to kiss his sweet cheeks. Oh, to have those sweet moments with him.
I could linger in that thought and excitement for so long, but the fact is....He doesn't want me to. I know there are reasons unseen why our precious Adler was taken from us so soon and I'm trusting in His promises regardless of how difficult it is. We have hope and a future with a God that loves us more than we could imagine. One that would give up His son just for us. That's pretty amazing and I'm going ALL IN, regardless of my circumstances here, for a God like that.
We also planted a Weeping Cherry tree in our backyard in remembrance of Adler and I'm so glad we did. It'll be a sweet little haven for the kiddos to play under and a nice memory for all of us. I love that the girls will always know it as "Adler's tree".
Can't wait to see how his tree grows!
2 comments:
You are in my prayers sweet friend.
Beautiful post. Love you, my sweet friend. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of sweet little Adler. I pray for you continually.
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